I'm not that bright.

There are things I just don't understand.

Normally, when people say "I'm not that bright. I can't understand x," it's a rhetorical device, meaning that they think they're actually quite smart and that x is stupid.

Now, while I suspect that the following things may well be stupid, I don't mean the above, as I imagine that if I were smart I'd at least understand them.

1. Why do people think that the people they vote for are good people slash out for their person wellbeing? This one continually astounds me. At least half (a very, you should pardon the term, conservative estimate) of all political rhetoric I read/hear devolves into personal attacks on the morals and motivations of the opposition -- which is fine, as far as it goes. But then people almost invariably follow it up by contrasting with their own political candidate/party, which they describe in glowing terms.

Not the positions, mind you, but the actual political representatives, and not in the sense of "Senator Twopockets has an excellent record in passing the legislation of which I approve," but in the sense of "Senator Twopockets cares about Christian morality/children/soldiers/the underprivileged."

People do not on a general basis impute such motives to their employer, their employees or, in many cases, their own family members. Why do they impute them to a bunch of strangers in a political HQ somewhere? My cashier at the supermarket is looking out for my interests when she double-bags my groceries, but I don't assume she's dedicated to the safe transport of eggs everywhere. Why do people assume that Congressman Stacy's support for prayer in schools arises from his religious devotion, or that Senator Jeff's support for abortion arises from his deep concerns for women's rights? Rather than, as I deem it more likely, their need to please their chosen party line.

Now, it's not so bad to do this on a per-politician basis. You might have met Assemblyman Ramon, or followed his career enough to see him suffer political hardship rather than payoff over a controversial issue. Fine. Even if you just think s/he's got an honest face, fine. But people then extrapolate to whole parties and other organizations. It seems that 2/3 of American voters actually believe that there is one party is composted of virtuous, upstanding knights in shining armor, locked in constant battle with a tribe of hideous, debauched beasts.

This, of course, is exactly what both parties need; an evil enemy to fight. Far better for them than apathy or general skepticism.

Like I said, I can't understand it. There are things with which I disagree that I can understand. I believe in God, but can understand how people might not. I don't believe it's immoral to eat meat, but I can understand how others might. I have theories about this phenomenon, but I can only understand them in a theoretical, intellectual sort of way, I can't really understand the mindset.

Theory 1: Everyone wants a Champion. It's like in sports. You root for the Yankees, or whoever, because they're your team. It doesn't matter what the players are like, or even, really, what the lineup is: they're your team, so you root for them, and when they win, you win.

Which is fine, for sports. But if Ryan Diem wins against the Ravens, he does not get to set national policy. He does get control of your rights, your prosperity (bets notwithstanding) or your medical care.

Theory 2: The Royalty Gene: Maybe we're all genetically predisposed against democratic/republican government (ironic phrasing, considering). Maybe what we all want, deep in our monkey core, is to have a big hulking, well-groomed alpha-male who gets to eat first and have his pick of the females. (Or, if you prefer: deep in our created human souls, a stolid patriarch who guides his people, and gathers the fruits of the harvest and gets his pick of wives and concubines.)

Hmm. It occurs to me these two theories may be only an aesthetic distinction.

And this is going on too long. I think I'll get into other things I don't understand another time. Oh, well, back to work.