Seeking (Dom + Sub) / 2

Here's the thing. I don't get off on gender roles. I just don't. Maybe being married to a feminist for 6 years will do that to you, but I have no desire to be the dominant -- or submissive -- one in a relationship. And there is a huge expectation that someone will, and that it will usually be the man. (There's even the expression, to be "The Man".)

During my marriage, a lot was said (usually behind my back) along the lines of "Well, I see who wears the pants in that family! ha-ha-ha!" The fact is, we both wore the pants; my ex was never one for dresses and skirts. Nether of us was dominant. Over the years, we both at various times brought in the majority of the income; we both worked, made decisions and changed diapers about equally (though she beat me out with breastfeeding). And it's not like we were being careful to be "equal partners" or something, it's just how we naturally interacted. But because I was contrasted with the presumed male role of dominance, I was taken as letting her make the rules.

Okay, so I'm not actively looking for a romantic relationship right now, but now that I'm single again, I find I do not want an alpha/beta relationship (if I ever did, which I don't really recall, it was entirely because of playing in to that cultural expectation). And I'm not sure how this is gonna fly in reality -- specifically, not to put too fine a point on it, with straight women. The expectation runs deep.in our society -- arguably, every society.

I've ranted about the Disney Princess (tm) phenomenon here before, but that's an extreme example. Almost every straight couple I know shows some degree of this, even the very we're-ethical-vegetarians-who-only-eat-organic-fair-trade-produce ones. A lot of profiles here and elsewhere specify they want someone who can "treat a woman right", or be "a real man" (and I suspect their examples, unlike mine, would not include Atticus Finch).

It's been suggested to me that bi women might be more likely to work for me. Idunno. I'm willing to entertain any offers.

Whatta you all think?

[EDIT: The blog title is supposed to refer to an average of Dom and Sub, meaning canceling out, meaning neither. Not, like, one of each, or a Switch. It's not my wittiest subject line, but hey, I needed something, and it got you to read this.]