Things you'll need to know about me if we ever meet.

1) I make fun of everyone and everything, and you are going to be no exception. If I don't make fun of you, that means I think you are boring.

2) I have several tracks going in my mind at any one time. You're welcome to join in as many as you wish, but don't expect me to turn the rest of them off in favor of the one you like. It's not just a matter of principle, either; I really can't.

3) I'm interested in your take on politics/religion/baseball, but I have my own, thank you, and I'll change it when I'm good and ready.

4) The bit about baseball was a lie. I really don't care.

5) Explosions in movies don't do anything for me. T&A or awesome fight scenes can save a bad movie, but the explosions... there must be a gene or two missing from my Y chromosome. Except of course exploding Death Stars; I'm not made of stone.

6) Yes, I am aware of the proper pronunciation of "guacamole," it's just more fun saying it so it rhymes with "Whack-A-Mole".

7) I'm a geek, but I make allowances for non-geeks; if you don't want to discuss Star Wars, or Peter Jackson's more egregious departures from the source material, just don't bring it up.

8) No, I shaved this morning, but this is as close a shave as I'm capable of attaining. I am naturally scruffy.

9) If I say I don't have a preference for where to eat, I'm not being considerate; I just don't have a preference for where to eat. Take a stand.

10) If you don't want to meet someone who is compulsive, don't overlook the fact that he blogs in numbered, self-referencing lists that he must pad out to a nice round 10 entries.