May 2 -- WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The United States Task Force on Muslim Affairs today released its latest figures on Muslim Extremism. Once again, the figures of extremist Muslims are in the low double-digit percentages. Among young Muslims, in particular, fewer than ever are spending their days in memorization of the Koran, and show a marked preference for playing countless hours of Guitar Hero II.
Even more alarming, the percentage of Muslims actually engaged in activities aimed at the downfall of western civilization remain in the very low single-digits. This has remained true of nearly all demographics, with a decline among Pakistani-Americans owning small businesses.
"Time was when I was at the cell meetings every month," said Shaukat Bharwana, proprietor of A&J Family Grocery. "But now, the kid that use to help with the stocking and watching the register has gone off to college -- to study city planning, of all things! -- so I have no time. I get of lot of flak from the other guys, but what can I do? I can't just let my business go to hell. With this economy we;ve got now, I'm barely putting Nan on the table as it is."
Asked why he was letting down the extremist cause, Bharwana's former employee, Alfie Khan, said, "'Wana's an okay guy, but he's always going on about the Infidel Conspiracy. I guess he had a rough time comin' over here, but the way he talks, sometimes it would creep me the hell out. I ain't got time for that jihad shiznit."
Brief interviews of area Muslims received such responses of "Can I help you?" "Um, look, I don't work here," "I really don't want to get involved." and "Look, pal, I got 20 minutes left for lunch, find someone else, okay?"
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